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-- OR -- Inspector Stanley Hopkins, noted law enforcement official, can also be seen in these previous issues of Electro-Graphic Monthly courtesy of his literary agent Joseph E. Dierkes: January
2001 . . .
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On Mr. Holmes and Golf Dear members of the Dark Lantern League, As you may recall from one of the cases that I was working on with Mr. Holmes, which involved a particularly brutal homicide committed with, of all things, a harpoon, Dr.Watson recorded that I stated that the suspect arrived in the area "on the pretence of playing golf". I should like to clear up some of the uncertainties in that matter as well as share with you a unique experience I had with Mr. Holmes. First of all, you should know that I was a rather avid golfer myself, although my abilities were somewhat less than I would have liked. And it is quite true that there was a particularly pleasant golf course quite close to Forest Row. After I had fully realized my mistake in laying the blame of the heinous crime on Mr. John Hopley Neligan, and after further discussion with him, it turned out that he was a quite decent chap after all. During our conversation, I determined that he was in fact a serious golfer, and that he did indeed desire to play some golf. As Dr. Watson has also recorded, Mr. Holmes did not care for any sort of exercise or exertion unless there was a direct relation to a case that he was working upon. However, in light of the truths uncovered in this case, and in addition to my personal love of the game, I suggested to Mr. Holmes that we have a go at a round of golf, before he and Watson left for Norway. He had never attempted golfing before, and was reluctant. Once I had convinced him, however, of the cleansing power of the game upon one’s mind, and its ability to free it up, he consented to go along with us. He started off fairly well at it, I might add. Although it takes quite some time to fully grasp the fundamentals, Mr. Holmes displayed an unusually keen sense of the strategy of the game. On the first tee, Mr. Neligan drove the ball the farthest, but a bit to the right. I managed to hit it straight down the middle, and Mr. Holmes followed closely behind my shot. I must mention that it is very unusual for a beginning golfer to hit the ball straight, and that this initially gave him some encouragement. Unfortunately, he did not do as well as the round progressed, landing many times in the thick rough. I did the best I could to encourage him, and he smiled somewhat grimly as he hacked away at the underbrush with his mashie. It got worse and worse for him as we progressed from one hole to the next. I truly believe that, if it were not for his affection for me, he would not have agreed to try his hand at this maddening game in the first place. After badly twisting his ankle climbing out of a sand trap on his approach to the eighth hole, we all agreed to retire. He confided to me later that he would rather play the violin to clear his mind. Yours faithfully,
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