Letter from Mr. Jabez Wilson
Regarding Mr. Vincent Spaulding
and the Gasogene
To the Members of the Dark
Lantern League, their friends, guests, and service-people:
The pawnbroker shop of
Jabez Wilson of Coburg Square does not secure household loans with
a gasogene. You might have heard this before, but it is important
nonetheless. Attend and heed.
I, Jabez Wilson, will not
lend you money on a gasogene for one reason and one reason alone:
I do not want your gasogene.
Why is it that do I not
want your gasogene?
Mr. Vincent Spaulding,
my former assistant, seemed to be attempting to corner the gasogene
market during his time in my shop.
Gasogenes are devices for
putting gas bubbles into water and creating soda water to be mixed
with whiskey, gin, or some other intoxicating beverage. At least,
that is the purpose that I understand them to be used for.
With Mr. Spaulding, I am
The effects of a gasogene
explosion, as are not uncommon, might have been multiplied by the
exploding of multiple gasogenes. Was this Mr. Spaulding's goal in
collecting gasogene after gasogene during his time in my employ?
Was he intending to explode
my entire shop, if not all of Saxe-Coburg Square?
We may never know, as Mr.
Spaulding disappeared during the night Scotland Yard caught that
burglar breaking into my shop from the sewers. Apparently the thought
that my pawn shop was not proof against a determined criminal was
too frightening for him and he never returned.
I suspect he continues
his gasogene collecting elsewhere, and I fully expect to one day
read of a massive explosion in Birmingham or Tudbury-Goldhill, and
read his name as one casualty of the tragic event.
If you would like to buy
a gasogene, however, I assure you that the current stock of gasogenes
in my shop is completely safe and entirely explosion-proof.