The Strangest Telegram That
Watson Ever Received

A large part of Dr. Watson's apparent dullness was that he never seemed to catch the "curious incidents." The dog that did not bark in the night-time, the wounded sheep in the paddock, the big bite mark on Holy Peters' ear -- all were signs that something very much out-of-the-ordinary was afoot, and all were missed by Watson. Holmes was always nearby, though, spotting the unusual and finding its significance, and since Watson rarely encountered a "curious incident" on his own, all was well.

Almost.

There were those times when something odd would happen, and Watson was alone; like the telegram mentioned in DEVI, for example -- a very curious incident. Watson admits it himself, telling the reader at great length how Holmes was never fond of public applause, how he loved giving credit to someone else, and how Holmes's attitude was what kept him from publishing more stories of the great detective. Yet suddenly, Watson has found himself with a telegram from Holmes stating:

"Why not tell them of the Cornish horror-strangest case I have handled."

Dr. Watson admits he had "considerable surprise" upon getting such a wire from Holmes. He also had no idea what would cause Holmes to be reminded of the case, or what possible reason he could have for Watson writing it up. Yet Watson, good old couldn't-see-a-curious-incident-if-it-walked-up-and-bit-him Watson, grabs on to the strange telegram's suggestion with glee, and gets right to work writing up the case.

Sure, the telegram's message is nothing like Holmes would write. Since when does Holmes refer to Watson's readers, or even acknowledge that they exist? And would Holmes have called the Cornish business the "strangest case I have handled"? Doesn't really sound like his choice. Doesn't sound like Holmes at all, actually.

Was it Holmes?

Holmes had many good reasons for not wanting Watson to publish his adventures. Foremost among these was the exposure of the detective's habits and methods -- something that would kill Holmes's effectiveness. Professor Moriarty undoubtedly made good use of his copies of STUD and SIGN when he and Holmes went head-to-head in 1891. Such intelligence on one's enemy is priceless, and it's no wonder that Holmes did not let Watson publish a single story after his return from Reichenbach until the detective had retired. How can anyone battle crime when his best friend is printing his street address in The Strand Magazine?

By the time Watson received the telegram that caused him to write up DEVI (c. 1909), plenty of data on Holmes was in the public press, including his fondness for telegrams. Like most fondnesses, Holmes's love of telegrams could be too easily turned into a weakness. Since they involve no distinguishing handwriting or signature, who's to say if a telegram is really from the person it seems to be from?

So suppose someone else wanted Watson to publish DEVI in The Strand Magazine. Being a regular reader of that periodical, knowledge of Holmes's telegram habits would be readily available to that individual. A little more hard to come by would be the fact that Holmes and Watson were living separately again, and that Holmes had retired. Watson had yet to reveal it to the world, but undoubtedly all those Scotland Yard men and various other law officers who regularly sought Holmes's help had to find out at some point early on. There was certainly no reason for secrecy in the matter. Aside from knowing of Holmes's telegrams and his retirement, all anyone needed to fake a telegram from him was a little luck. And if the intended victim of the hoax were Watson, who even needed much of that?

The only problem with this little mystery is in narrowing down the suspects -- the entire village of Tredannick Wollas. The hamlet's vicar never did get any evidence that his parish wasn't devil-ridden. The inspector on the case probably wondered for the rest of his life just what really went on with the Tregennises. And the area newspapers never got beyond calling the incident "the Cornish horror." It shouldn't be much of a surprise that somebody eventually remembered Holmes's presence and tricked Watson into telling the tale.

It would have been more of a curious incident if they hadn't -- not that Dr. Watson would ever have noticed.

(Printed in Plugs & Dottles, May 1990 )