"Watson, what the devil are you doing standing on today's paper?"

"Elementary, Holmes, I've just come in out of the rain. These are the TIMES that dry men's soles."

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"One thing I'll never do is get all bent out of shape over some silly woman."-- Henry Wood (CROO).

THE AGONY COLUMN

Weddings in minutes! Eloping? Got a gal in trouble and want to make things right? No blood tests . . . no license . . . no waiting. Reasonable rates. Write Rev. Williamson, Charlington Heath, Farnham.

A LINE NOT FOUND IN STUD

"I don't give a hang if you ARE my husband, I'm not going to sing in the Tabernacle Choir!" -- Lucy to husband Enoch.