As they strolled down Baker Street one day, Holmes and Watson noted a baker's delivery van which had just hit a nasty bump, resulting in one of its confections, a multi-layered cream-filled pastry, to be cast into the street, thus rolling in, and collecting upon itself the obnoxious detritus of the famous thoroughfare.

"Behold, Watson," shouted Holmes as he pointed to the befouled goodie, "the napoleon of grime!"

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

"Surely, Watson, a little smoke from this powder can't be any worse than that which you have experienced many times from my shag." -- Sherlock Holmes (DEVI).

THE AGONY COLUMN

Buttercup, can I see you again? It wasn't leprosy after all--just the heartbreak of psoriasis. The cream is working wonders. Godfrey.

A LINE NOT FOUND IN ILLU

"You want me to do WHAT with the Cool Whip!?"
-- Kitty Winter to Baron Gruner.