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Sherlock Gets Sick In Alabama!

The first thought I had after learning that my company was sending me to Alabama for a week’s worth of training was what would I write about for Sherlock-Peoria. My agenda for the week consists of going from a non-descript hotel to a computer training center for eight hours before returning to that afore mentioned hotel. My travel companion is a non-Sherlockian that I have known for 3 days. We have one rental car between us and this will mean sharing our evening meals together and trying to act interested in whatever strained conversation that might arise. Well, leave it to me to find something Sherlockian in the situation to write about.

I am in Birmingham, Alabama to attend a class for SourceRad &#174, which is a Radiology Information System (RIS). My company is a new entity that will be opening a number of medical imaging centers around the country. I will be managing the RIS for these imaging centers. SourceRad“ is part of Source Medical“ and their training is only offered in Birmingham and it will be my responsibility to train the staff. They are non-Sherlockians and did not care about any deadlines that I might have. Little did they know what plans I had for them.

The training sessions include the registration of a variety of patients. These patients are required to have as many illnesses that might occur at one of our imaging centers. We are required to have names, addresses, employer information, as well as a plethora of other demographic information on our variety of patients. As I looked around the room at the others in my class, they were all struggling to come up with names other than "Bob Smith" or "Mary Jones." I realized I had a slew of friends I could use, abuse, and inflict great pain on if the need arose. I had the characters of the Canon at my disposal which includes the 32 doctors that are mentioned.

So my first patient was our hero, Sherlock Holmes. I had to change his birthday to 1/6/1954 since SourceRad &#174 ,did not accept a person born in1854. The address was easy enough as well as his occupation. He was self-employed and self-pay for insurance. For clinical information I entered "heavy smoker, 7% cocaine user, fits of lethargy interspersed with streaks of momentous energy, and poor sleeping and eating habits. I ordered a chest x-ray on Mr. Holmes for a persistent cough and a C.T Scan of his pituitary gland to rule out any tumors.

I had to practice scheduling patients. There was Martha Hudson who lives at 221A Baker Street. This long-suffering landlady was slated for an abdominal sonogram and cholangiogram. It seems that her gall bladder was acting up. She also was scheduled for an Ultrasound to rule-out a deep vein thrombosis. Her history of running up and down the 17 steps at Baker Street must have taken their toll. Her primary physician John H. Watson ordered these procedures. Inspector Lestrade was scheduled for an MRI of the brain. His trouble with concentrating and analyzing facts had caused him to receive low performance reviews. His supervisors had referred him another physician, Dr. Anstruther. James Moriarty was suppose to have a shoulder examination but was a no-show on the day of his appointment. I had fun giving him a diagnosis code (ICD-9) of 095.7. This is the code for Syphilis of a tendon or bursa. I figured his shoulder was damaged from hang too long in his web.

I could go on and on with the fun I had at the expense of our beloved characters but I would not want to bore anyone. I just want to say that my data training was a success. I like to call it "Fun With Sherlock Holmes." There were 20 people in class. Many of the screens from my computer were projected onto the overhead screen. Not one person made comment on the Sherlockian names that popped up. What is this south coming too? At the risk of divulging patient confidentiality, Sherlock Holmes’s x-ray reports came back negative and he is expected to be around for another century or so.

Happy collecting!