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More Adventures of
Sunblock Hose
and
Doctor Whacko

The world's fast and furious serial
consenting detective and his little
wooden friend by A. Conman Doll
(who has finally gone comatose
while Doctor Whacko is narrating).

When I had completely recovered my senses, I found myself in the familiar confines of 2 Laker Street 21B.

"Is it over?" I asked Sunblock Hose, who was working over a beaker of clear liquid at his lab table.

"No," Hose answered. "You're still married. your bride, however, has agreed to allow you to stay here until I can synthesize more of the stuff on the cherub's arrows."

"Miss Marestongue?" I asked, hopefully.

"The same," Hose replied. "I really cannot congratulate you, Whacko, as I am still rather sickened from viewing your honeymoon."

"Whatever do you mean, Hose?"

"Surely you have some inkling of what happened after the arrow hit you ... the hasty shipboard wedding, performed by Captain Steubing at Miss Marestongue's insistence. The hastier wedding toast, served by Isaac, the steam launch bartender. And the . . ." Hose gave a shudder.

"Believe me, Julie, the launch's recreational director had no part in what went on after your bride threw you to the deck."

"But what of the murderers? What of the Viagra treasure?"

"Well, Whacko, your bullets did indeed sink the ferry full of axes to the bottom of the Thames. Nary Marestongue did take it well, however, crying out, 'Whoever has lost a treasure, I know this night that I have gained one! Whooo-hooo!' after Inspector Jones tried to distract her with the news. The cavalry man, a former partner of Major Sholtomolto and Sergeant Marestongue, known as Jonathan Notsosmallanymore went to jail for his crimes, while his little fairy pal, a Cherubiam tribesman from the island of Cheruba . . . well, he seemed to just fly off. A. Conman Doll is going to write it up under the title 'The Coming of the Cherubiam Tribesmen,' though I doubt anyone will believe it."

"I get a wife, Doll gets a book . . . what did you get from all this, Hose?"

"Well, Whacko, for me there remains . . . this diamond-embedded axe that Miss Marestongue paid me with!" Hose raised the axe over his head . . .

My senses appropriately fled the scene.

AND SO ENDS THE SECOND TALE OF SUNBLOCK HOSE AND DOCTOR WHACKO.

BE HERE NEXT TIME (WHENEVER THAT IS) FOR THE NEXT THRILLING ADVENTURE!

(Originally presented on the Baker Street list on July 18, 1998.)