Stop me if you’ve heard this one: “Two Sherlockians walk into a bar . . .”

Anyone? Anyone? How about this one: “All you need to form a Sherlockian society is two Sherlockians and a bottle. And in a pinch, you can dispense with one of the Sherlockians.”

That one, you just might have heard. From the above examples, one would have to believe that Sherlockians favor package liquor stores over bars, and why not? If you’re going to drink, you probably would rather do it in your library, in the company of your books . . . which is probably where “dispense with one of the Sherlockians” comes in.

But there’s a bit of a lie to that old John Bennet Shaw line. While you can have a good Sherlockian  time all by yourself on occasion, you’d have to be a true madman to continue as a Sherlockian in complete solitude, never interacting with other Sherlockians. How do I know this?

Well, as was pointed out to me this weekend, I probably know more hermit Sherlockians than anyone else, Sherlockians who look at scion meetings and grumble. Sherlockians to whom the idea of a January weekend in New York is as alien as wearing a pimp suit in Wonderland. But then, being half-hermit myself, I kind of get that.

Yet every hermit Sherlockian I’ve ever known has had to have some social interaction, kind of like vitamins. Oh, you can do without for a little while, but eventually your Sherlockian health suffers. Just like that one Sherlockian and a bottle . . . in a pinch, he’s a Sherlockian society. If he meets regularly in that same fashion, he’s just an alcoholic, and will probably be waving around a copy of Is Elvis Alive? in place of his Canon.

Here in Peoria, it’s been a long while since we’ve herded the hermits for a Sherlockian meeting, so I picked out my book on CD at the library (this trip, A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore), steeled myself for the three-hour drive through beautiful blue Saturday afternoon skies and post-harvest fields, and pointed the trusty Honda toward Indiana. My friend John Holliday was due to accompany me on this trip, being well overdue for Sherlockian socializing himself, but had come down with the flu. This meant I would arrive at my destination in more of a listening than speaking mode, having been let Fisher Stevens read to me for three solid hours, but that’s not always a bad thing.

My goal was the Ulen country club in Lebanon, Indiana, where the Illustrious Clients were having their October meeting. While no one loves a three-hour drive (and three hours back after), the Clients never seem to let me down, much like the Occupants of the Empty House (who are a five-hour drive away, and on Fridays besides, which makes that a rarer trip). And they didn’t.

The country club served up some great baby back ribs as a part of a buffet that was a couple notches better than most banquet fare. Arriving by myself got me a great seat at the Doyle table (yes,  they’re so Sherlockian they have a Doyle table at every Clients meeting – the one Steve is at) where I got to meet Ann Lewis, whose name has been popping up all over the Sherlockian net and talk to Mike Whelan about his latest travels. Add Mel, Pat, Pam, and Mary Ann to the mix, and our table was literally overflowing with fascinating conversation. We bounced from topic to topic and I recall several occasions where I wished we could have heard more about topic A, but didn’t want to give up on current topic B.

Hooded figures came in and recited the most dramatic version of the Musgrave Ritual I can remember. We got a chance to buy a beautiful book -- the new co-production of the Baker Street Irregulars and the Sherlock Holmes Society of London, To Keep the Memory Green, a tribute to Richard Lancelyn Green. Don Curtis and Steve Doyle spoke and stirred up a healthy discussion of evening’s story. (The Clients always seem like they’d discuss the story of the night far into the night, were they not cut off at some point.) And there was a quiz, but I’m lazy these days and don’t study for quizzes – which got me shushed at one point.

But these are all the sorts of things one finds at Sherlockian society meetings all over the country (just not in Peoria of late), so I don’t need to get too far into detail to make my point. Many a book may get published on Sherlock Holmes or Conan Doyle. Many a collector may amass shelves of rare books on the Great Detective. And many an internet blog column may be written on Sherlockians and Sherlockiana. But in the end, the very core of Sherlockiana is when we come together to celebrate our common enthusiasm.

It’s even worth making the extra effort, such as a three-hour drive, every now and then. Because for me, two Sherlockians and a bottle is all the better if you replace the bottle with a third Sherlockian (or more). Then, you have true society in your society. And if they’re the right Sherlockians, you can get the charge to keep you going when you’re back in that pinch Shaw spoke of.

Your humble correspondent,

Brad Keefauver