The Summer Sherlockian
or
"Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda"

Summer, as P&D's editor pointed out in the previous issue, does not seem to inspire a Canonical frame of mind as much as the crisper and more inclement seasons of the year. Although not all may share this reaction, it is certainly understandable and probably rather common. After all, most do tend to associate the atmosphere of the Sacred Writings with not only a swirling yellow fog, but also a cold rain, a howling wind, and a cracking fire on the hearth.

But however understandable a case of Sherlockian summer doldrums may be, it is not excusable, and not impossible to overcome. First, it should be noted that, based strictly on Watson's own descriptions, no fewer than sixteen, and perhaps as many as nineteen, Canonical cases take place during summer. Surely the reading of nineteen apropos selections is enough to occupy a good many afternoons in a hammock. But for those who cannot bring themselves to wipe the dust from their Doubledays between May and September, a more drastic cure is required. Yes, it's time that the hot weather hibernators among us were sent to rehabilitative summer camp.

The activity program at Camp RECLUSE (Remedial Entertainment Camp for Lethargic and Unmotivated Sherlockian Enthusiasts) would be based on those summer activities found within the Canon itself. There would have to be a pig-harpooning contest, of course, and a Tadpole Phelps Memorial Cricket Match (one player selected to be Tadpole; no hits scored above the shins). Those campers not in shape for such strenuous activities might content themselves by "sitting out upon the lawn on garden chairs . . . basking in the sun and admiring the view," -- a la Holmes and the Trevors.

As for educational programs, it wouldn't be summer camp without a day or two spent at nature study. After a morning hike to a suitable area-say a small lake formed by the spreading out of a stream, with just a fringe of grass and reeds around the edge -- the participants could spread themselves about the area, run up and down, and finally lay on their faces, turning over leaves and dried sticks and examining the ground with their lenses.

On the purely recreational side, the campers would not want to miss an excursion to the beach, folded towels at the ready (and with a few dozen bottles of brandy in case first aid is required). Wagering sums on the sinking of the parsley in the butter at the noon meal could become a daily event. Even the summer camp tradition of staying up all night to tell ghost stories could be modified to stimulate getting back in touch with the Canon. With a little encouragement, the campers might easily sit up for an hour telling anecdote after anecdote of Paganini, then spend the rest of the night smoking, each having been reminded to bring five pillows and an ounce of shag.

Of course, even at the best of camps there is bound to be some friction caused by close quarters, homesickness, and general uncooperativeness on the part of the more stubborn participants. For this reason certain Canonical summer activities should definitely be discouraged at Camp RECLUSE, such as setting straw ablaze indoors and hanging oneself by one's suspenders. To reduce the incidence of such pranks, the camp counselors would want to provide more acceptable outlets. Those who react to summer heat by becoming peevish, for example, could vent their ill humour by participating in the Yellow-Backed Novel Fling, which could even be modified into a kind of competition.

If all else were to fail, and the campers insisted that the heat made it impossible to do anything, there would still be a chance. Doing nothing in hot weather but sitting indoors and staring at the walls is perfectly Canonical, as demonstrated by Watson's "brown study" in CARD. But then, it is certainly to be hoped that more could be accomplished at Camp RECLUSE than that. Otherwise, there may be no end to the terrible scourge of Sherlockian sloth that even now is robbing the scion community of many of its once-useful minds.

Please contact your local philanthropist about setting up a Camp RECLUSE in your area. Do it now . . . before it gets too cold.

(Printed in Plugs & Dottles, August 1984)