In Search of Gordon Speck

Even though the ninth annual banquet of the Hansoms of John Clayton is now well behind us, many Hansoms may still be finding this year's guest speaker the source of some puzzlement. "Where did he come from?" is a question that has undoubtedly crossed many a frontal lobe since that night at Jumer's when Gordon Speck, BSI orafied us with his deductions concerning this publication's esteemed editor.

Well, never let it be said that your P&D co-columnists don't make every effort for their readership. At great expense and personal hardship, we organized an expedition this past month, the sole purpose of which was to find out the answer to that question. Just where did Gordon Speck come from? Kathy, roll the slides.

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This is the highway . . . I-55 South. Having heard all the rumors going through Sherlockian circles that Gordon Speck was from southern Illinois, we decided to head straight into that mysterious area of the midwest, of which we could find no mention in our Encyclopaedia Sherlockiana. Hopefully, we thought, it will be inhabited.

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Ah, Dobb's Bargain City. It was here we first noticed traces that we were in the right part of the wilds. In the gentlemen's furnishings department of this Centralia emporium we discovered Union Jack handkerchiefs. Recalling the mention of Holmes's native flag in "The Noble Bachelor," we deduced that Gordon Speck must be a regular customer of this establishment. Encouraged, we pressed on.

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The Mount Vernon Holidome. Here, we paused to rest and meet the rest of our expeditionary force. Rathbone and Bruce were on the TV in our room, chasing the Baskerville hound,which we took as a symbolic omen that the Master's spirit was with us. As he pursued the hound, so would we pursue Gordon Speck, even into the Great Grimpen Mire itself!

"CLICK"

Our telephones useful instrument mentioned in the Encyclopaedia Sherlockiana with which we made contact with Bill Cochran, a local expert on the habits of Gordon Speck. He tipped us off that Speck might be sighted at a certain Bonanza restaurant, not far from our lodgings. Wondering if our quarry might not have gone over from the Sherlockian crowd to the fans of Hoss, Pa, and Little Joe, we followed our sole lead.

"CLICK"

Here, at last, is Gordon Speck, sighted standing outside the West City Bonanza. There had been a slight mix-up as to which night his house was to be empty, and he was waiting for a room to be cleared.

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This is the Empty House, which we had heard mentioned so often in conjunction with Gordon's name. As you can see, this "Empty House" is a rather crowded room at the Bonanza restaurant.

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Following a scandalous number of trips to the salad bar by certain individuals, the "Occupants" of this Empty House held a meeting which was run by Bill Cochran, the one on the left. A number of other seekers of the source of Speck were in attendance, and toward the back there you can see two of them -- Joe Eckrich of the St. Louis Sherlockian Eckriches, and Glen Milner, recently of Hansom membership. Glen presented an excellent paper on the true criminal of "The Naval Treaty."

"CLICK"

Occupant Rev. Vic Holly and Joe Eckrich both related their experiences at the Vincent Starrett Memorial weekend in Chicago. The leader of our expedition also presented a hastily prepared paper, not long after being made an "Occupant of the Empty House" himself. All in all, a grand Sherlockian time was had, but we were, in the end, no closer to the answer to our question -- where did Gordon Speck come from?

"CLICK"

To find the answer, we trailed Gordon Speck following the meeting to this place: the home of Bill Cochran and the current location of the Camden House Library. The Camden House Library is, without a doubt, one of the Sherlockian wonders of the state of Illinois. On its shelves can be found bound copies of nearly every Strand or Punch magazine ever published; collected works of great Sherlockians such as Starrett and Morley; a massive amount of Sherlockian scholarship, patichery, and parody. Over the desk you can see some of the Sherlockian artifacts that are housed here as well. As our expedition’s leader sat, reeling from the rarefied atmosphere and flipping through a book on Greuze, the answer finally came to him. This was where Gordon Speck came from to our Hansom banquet. He had to pick Bill up.

Lights please.

So, as you can see, there is still much to the origins of Gordon Speck that remains shrouded in mystery. Where did he come from prior to stopping to pick up Bill Cochran? Was he born, or did he evolve from a bookworm exposed to the Baring-Gould Annotated? Only time and further research will tell.

(Printed in Plugs & Dottles, December 1986)