The Two Hundredth Issue

Two hundred issues of Plugs & Dottles. Almost seventeen years of Bob's life and twelve of mine. (He's actually been doing it longer. It's not like the difference between dog years and human years.) It would seem a good time for a retrospective on the old newsletter, but since many of you have been with us a good share of that time, you know it all already. In deference, therefore, to our long-time readers, I'm going to celebrate this two hundredth issue with a porrospective. Instead of looking back, we'll look forward, to the two thousandth issue of Plugs & Dottles, and all the columns you'll see on our way there.
Consider it a preview of coming attractions and an incentive to keep your subscription renewed.

Issue 466 — "That Woman" A historical treatise identifying Irene Adier as Marlo Thomas, proving that Watson was constantly substituting the article "the" in place of "that." Godfrey Norton/Phil Donahue parallels are also discussed.

Issue 712 — "The Dirty (and Ragged) Dozen" In an effort to get back to the original intimate setting of the Morley days, the Baker Street Irregulars of New York limit their number to the Canonical twelve, de-investing the other one thousand, five hundred and seventy-two living Irregulars. This columnist writes scathing tirade against the scurrilous act, but not before accepting membership in the twelve.

Issue 739 — "Not Even Enough Paper To Wipe" Even as George Vanderburgh reaches his pinnacle by collecting not only the DeWaal bibliography, but also everything listed in the bibliography (including digital versions of the movies, television shows, and music) in one super-diskware electronic library for the computer, an unappreciative columnist is quick to complain once more about his use of acronyms. The "New Omnipaedic Sherlock   Holmes   International Textmaster" quickly undergoes a name change.

Issue 806 — "Examples of Watsonian Protomorphosis" Trendy new subconscious fusion/transmorph methodologies are used to analyze multiple-named recurring characters throughout the Canon. The column concludes that the entire Canon contains a total of only eleven characters, who also appear throughout recorded history and the membership roster of the Occupants of the Empty House.

Issue 959 — "Good Heavens, Holmes, This Is Intolerable!" A reaction to the arson attempt at London's new 221B Baker Street recreation at the old site of the Abbey National building. Radical Doylists had claimed responsibility for
the act in another of their attempts to draw public attention away from Holmes, whom they call "the character," and back to Doyle, whom they refer to as "the author."

Issue 1391 — "That Was Me, All Right" I start claiming that several un-named characters in the Canon were actually me, offering up detailed evidence to support my  claims.     Many  neophyte Sherlockians, who joined the cult in the wave of enthusiasm following the Jeffrey Goggins holographic series, actually believe me (literacy, math skills, and any historical know-how whatsoever being not as common as they used to be).

Issue 1699 — "Sherlock and Coke" With all Canonical copyrights far behind us, various corporations start coming out with their own slightly altered versions of the complete Sherlock Holmes. My favorite winds up being the Coca-Cola version of the Canon, which features Holmes drinking Coke between cases for stimulation. Comparisons are made with the Mitsubishi Canon, the State Farm Canon, and the Canon Canon.

Issue 1700 — "The Perfect Sherlockian" A tribute to Plugs & Dottles editor Robbie Burr, the artificial intelligence created to put out P & D just prior to Bob Burr's retirement to Easter Island. (It would later be discovered that the computer Robbie actually had Bob sent there, reasoning that Bob's typo rate of one per five issues did not have quite the machine-like efficiency Robbie knew he could produce.)

Issue 1974 — "My Name Is Brad..." This column returns after a brief hiatus. It seems the columnist was spending too much time in cyberspace at the virtual reality Sherlockian bars, the Alpha Inn and the Dangling Prussian, and became a virtual alcoholic. Three months at a virtual treatment center later, he returns but almost relapses during a trip to a cyberspace reunion of the now defunct Hounds of the Internet (when the Internet finally became outmoded and disappeared, they tried to be "the Hounds of AT&T" but didn't survive the ensuing lawsuit).

Issue 2000 — "Urk..." Yes, I finally drop dead at the keyboard. Holmes wasn't sharing his longevity secrets and modern science could only do so much on a Sherlockian's budget. Robbie Burr finds a typing monkey from a pharmaceutical lab and names it Brad Jr. The column continues....

And those weren't even the good columns. Stick around, the fun has just begun.