The New Computer

By Don Hobbs

I finally broke down and bought a new computer last week. It started a couple of week before when I first decided to move into to the DSL world of high-speed Internet connecting. I really don’t know what prompted me to do this since I did some of my best thinking while I waited and waited and waited for some obscure file to load. It had gotten so slow that I had completely stopped visiting e-Bay. It would take upwards to one minute to look at a single item.

I did my due-diligences and finally pick a DSL service that met all of my needs. I was out of town when the box arrived but as soon as I got home and even before I open my massive pile of snail mail, I started unwrapping and hooking connections. Almost immediately, I received a message from my old dinosaur computer that my Windows®95 operating system was not capable of DSL. Oh great another hurdle but never fear, I had a laptop computer sitting around that I never used. It ran Windows®98 and this was compatible with the DSL.

Everything worked perfect. I was able to use up to 6 e-mails addresses. I chose 221b@verizon.net and maniac_collector@verizon.net as my Sherlockian related accounts. I sent out a blast e-mail to my entire address book and I was in business. I was in Geek City sitting in my library. My old, slow, dial-up computer and the high speed laptop were sitting there at right angles to each other. I was using both because the printer was not working on the laptop and a couple of other issues made it feasible to work this way.

Then my printer decided it was time to become a bulky paperweight. I went online a ordered anew mega computer from Dell. Once again I researched and configured. Then I configured and researched. I needed e-mail, Internet, Microsoft Word® and a new printer to continue being The Maniac Collector. I was worse than a child at Christmas – making a list and checking it twice. I finally designed the system I wanted and at the price that I wanted. The nicety of this effort was when I got around to ordering, I was able to get a 17" flat screen monitor for free!

Once again, I was out of town when the boxes arrived. I was in Cally-fon-ya for two weeks and had plenty of catching up to do before I was able to tackle the new computer. This time I had to tackle the small mountain of mail awaiting my attention, of course this was after the obligatory trip to my favorite Mexican restaurant. Sunday was prearranged that we attend the State Fair of Texas, which is billed as having something for everyone. I found nothing Sherlockian there during the 8 hours I mashed between the unmannered hordes. Monday was completed filled with a seminar so it was Tuesday morning before I once again for myself tearing open boxes full of techno-wonders.

I am a guy, so I ended up with all of this extra paper called instructions. Who needs dirty, stinking instructions when there are wires to unwrap and plug in to something? I think this is a subliminally male thing – putting a plug where it belongs. It was a piece of cake. I pushed the power button on the CPU and the monitor and viola let there be light. And it was good. Everything worked just the way it was suppose to. I hurried upstairs and disconnected the DSL and hurried back down to the kitchen where the new computer is being temporarily set up. We are building an upstairs office at the opposite end of the hallway from my Sherlockian library. When I reconnected the DLS absolutely nothing happened. The instructional CD-Rom stuck its tongue out at me and would no longer reveal it’s secrets.

After an hour of persuasion, mainly from the 1-800 "Help Desk", I was once again in high-speed heaven. The Internet worked, the e-mail worked, and even the new printer worked. It only took me a mere 10 hours to plug in a few cables. Included in this were the trip to Office Max for a cable and the 2 trips to Home Depot. I needed to drill a 2 _" hole in the built in desk to drop the wires. I made it half way through when the drill bit snapped in two. The second one broke just as I made it through. It also took over an hour to load my old address book.

I was too tired to be excited but I decided I would still write my first article for Sherlockpeoria on my new computer. I thought I would write about my new computer – I thought I had a word processing program but NO! Somehow I had neglected to add Microsoft Office® in all of my planning. Lucky for me I had a spare CD-Rom with Microsoft Office 2000® Professional that had came with the laptop that I had never loaded.

If you are still reading this rambling P.O.S can see that everything finally loaded and I was able to write my first article on my new computer.

Happy Collecting!!

64% S.O.A.