Something for Everyone . . . Somewhere

I was musing the other day, in between indulging the whims of my cat, upon periodicals like this one.

The raison d’être of such publications is to bring a little pleasure into the lives of our readership, whether through entertaining essays or prose, learned discourse, newsworthy exposition, or what-have-you (and we do wind up publishing a lot of what-have-you, simply because it’s what we have — hence the name). When a publication is, for whatever reason, not bringing pleasure into the lives of its readers, said readers will occasionally complain. Reasonable and diplomatically phrased complaints, deemed beneficial to the good of the whole, and somehow managing not to throw the editor into a fit of rage or weeping, will occasionally inspire worthwhile changes in a publication’s contents. Sometimes not. And sometimes, in a fit of rage or weeping, the editor of a publication might cry out, “If you don’t like it, you can unsubscribe!”

But unsubscribing to a publication would seem to be the capital punishment of a reader’s arsenal, not the editor’s. I suppose we could force disagreeable subscribers off the mailing list, send them refunds and wish them well, but that’s not really in the spirit of the fifth estate. We’re supposed to be spreading the good words, not depriving people of them. The question on the reader’s side, however, has to be, “How effective is unsubscribing?” If you tell an editor, “I hate what you’re doing, and I’m dropping my subscription,” will he care to improve matters for a reader who will no longer be reading? I don’t think so. By unsubscribing, you’re ceasing to be a thorn in his or her side. The squeaky wheel that has fallen off the wagon no longer needs any grease.

Of course, sometimes one just has to unsubscribe. Like a drunken Vegas-wed couple’s marriage, the bond between a given reader and publication is often just not meant to be. Perhaps you thought you were broadening your horizons by subscribing to The John “Hottie” Watson Explicitly Detailed Newsletter, but after six issues you still don’t understand just how anyone could get into “the bell-pull/swamp adder” position, much less do the “Agra treasure retrieval.” Or maybe one of your more learned friends assured you that The Game’s All Footnotes would make you both cultured and investitured in six short months, and you still haven’t been able to look up all the obscure and/or archaic words from that article you started three issues ago. Not every match is made in heaven.

And by dropping one subscription and replacing it with another, maybe you can find love anew. Like I said in the title to this little essay, there’s something for everyone . . . somewhere. If one of the major Sherlockian publications was the end-all and be-all of Sherlockian existence, none of the other major or minor publications would exist. Most of the enduring ones began with the premise, “There’s a gap in the literature that needs filling, and we think this could help out.”

And that little fact is something a disgruntled (or merely vaguely unhappy) reader should consider. Most editors like publishing things no one else does. They also like making you happy. The only pay for editorial services rendered at any Sherlockian publication is the knowledge that in a given issue, we might have made you laugh or smile or think for a moment in your busy day (not that we’re necessarily benevolent . . . some of us are power-mad Machiavellians, laughing as you dance like puppets at the end of our subscription-list strings). If there’s something that you still feel is missing from your total Sherlockian experience, even after you’ve found the closest thing to a favorite publication possible, try writing the editor to ask for it. Complaints might get you a raging or weeping editor, but asking nicely? You might just wind up getting something special, not just for yourself, but for your fellow subscribers as well.

And, hey, who’s paying for these things anyway? Sure, the editors don’t get paid, but you’re actually spending money on the deal. Might as well get something out of your fistful of dollars. And if you don’t like this issue of The Holmes & Watson Report . . . remember: unsubscribing is totally ineffectual in changing an editor’s behavior. Multiple subscriptions, however, can be very effective. Really. (Hey, if you want to cough up $160 for ten simultaneous one-year subscriptions, I will personally write an article for the next issue telling the world what a terrific Sherlockian you are.) While unsubscribing may leave you powerless, over-subscribing can definitely buy you some clout. At least around here, anyway.

Enjoy.

— The Publisher and Editor-In-Chief